Monday, December 19, 2011


We officially found out Molly was really a boy the whole time. 

We renamed our baby to Hunter Garnett Gonda.
Garnett is after my Grandpa who he was buried with.

It was kind of hard to adjust to it so I wanted to do something to make it seem more official, so I bought an ornament with his name on it.

Friday, December 16, 2011

good news

this post is going to be very happy and brief.

I got my test results back from my tissue and no molar pregnancy!
I got my HCG level blood results back today and they are going down.
I still have to go in again next week to get my blood taken to make sure they keep going down. Now we have to pray that they stay going down and don't go back up.

I can't even describe the weight that was lifted off my shoulders when I heard this. I have been so on edge with this, Nathan can testify. I feel like I am off to a whole new start.

I want to thank everyone for the fasting, prayers and putting my name on the temple prayer list. I have no doubt that this is why everything is okay. It has been a rough couple of months and everyone's love has made it easier.

Now on to something different....

Last night we were finally able to go out to eat for our 2 year. We decided to go somewhere I have never been since we usually always go to the same places. Nathan chose PF Changs and it was so good!

Monday, December 12, 2011

2 years

Happy 2 years to me and Nathan!
This has been a crazy year for sure but I could not ask to have a better person to go through everything with.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

what now...

From losing molly, finding out she may have been a boy not a girl, to getting in a car wreck you would think nothing else could go wrong, right? But, no that is not the case. The trials just keep on coming. A lot has been going on this week and I am ready to fill everyone in. I didn't want to tell anyone because I don't want to get people worried over something that may not happen. But, what the heck.

So I had to go back into the doctor on Monday because I haven't stopped bleeding and I almost had to go to the ER on Sunday because I was bleeding out so much. I went in and he said what happens very rarely in cases like mine is sometimes some placental tissue holds on for dear life and doesn't come out like normal and continues to grow. He said the WORST case senario would be for me to get a D&C.  A very common, simple procedure. Well, this ended up not being the case of worst senario. He wanted me to come in the next morning to get an ultrasound to confirm and make sure that it was a placental tissue problem.

I went in for the ultrasound and got my blood work back as well. I did have placental tissue and my HCG (hormone that determines pregnancy) levels came back positive. Don't worry I am not pregnant, thats the problem. This is known as molar pregnancy which happens rarely. It can happen with the type of chromosomal problem our baby had. So now it gets more complicated. I had to get a D&C to get the tissue out but there is a risk it could come back. If it does come back I will have to go through a type of chemotherapy to make it stop growing and get rid of it. Now, its not the type where I would lose my hair and stuff but it is still a type of chemotherapy.

I went in to get the D&C today and a hysteroscopy. It was the first time I had been put under in my life. I am not going to lie I was freaking out. When I woke up I was so confused. I don't remember ANYTHING before and after the surgery. I think I actually said this when I woke up, "Do you know who the Kardashian's are? I think I had a dream about them." I am kind of embarrassed lol. They were able to get everything out and I have to go back once a week to make sure my HCG levels stay at 0. They determine if it is growing back by my HCG levels. So it is vital I don't get pregnant because if I do there will be no way to track if it is growing back or not.

It has been a hard couple of months. After the Molly thing happened I was like I can handle this. I was so proud of how well I was doing. Well, then the gender change happened, got in a car wreck and totalled my car, other things going on, Nathan being behind in school because he has to be with me for the doctors, and then I find out this. It just keeps on coming. We are just so grateful we got that blood test when I was pregnant and we got our sweet baby out of me because it could have been worse. Cancer was a risk if I kept the baby in so when I got induced we thought everything was fine. I am so grateful for my husband who prayed about it and did the best thing for my life and health.

Nathan has been so amazing. I have been able to go through everything before this with a pretty positive attitude. When I found out this I became overwhelmed and I have been kind of a brat lol. But, he has been there for me by my side through the whole thing. When I am being grumpy he will say in a stern voice, "Get over here and cuddle with me. Lay your head on my lap and I will play with your hair." So sweet.

I am pretty sure everything is going to be fine. I feel like everything that is a low percentage of happening has been happening. So I hope I get cut a break and the D&C will be the last thing for this issue. Until then...please pray!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

today we....

put on christmas music,

lit our favorite candle for this season,

and put up our christmas tree.

Saturday, November 26, 2011


I hope everyone enjoyed their thanksgiving! We just got together with all our family and ate tons of good food and played turkey bingo. Here are just a couple pictures from that day.


Thursday, November 24, 2011


It has been a crazy couple of months, the hardest of our marriage. losing molly, getting in a car wreck and bunch of other things that I don't want to get into. i guess things were going too easy so something had to happen right?

Last night me and Nathan stayed up until 3:00 in the morning just talking. It was one of those nights where you just can't go to sleep because you can't stop talking. It just reminded me that those are the little things to live for. Hard times come but they also pass. There are so many tender mercies there in the mix if you CHOOSE to see them. So I guess this Thanksgiving I am thankful for those little things that give me a breath of fresh air during difficult times.


Monday, November 21, 2011

breaking dawn

last thursday night we went to the midnight showing of breaking dawn. a bunch of girls from church were with us and then we met up with our good friend lincoln and his girlfriend (he loves twilight more than any of us). we got there at 7:00 to stand in line and it actually went by really really fast. It was a lot of fun just all of us hanging out. We will be going again to see it tomorrow so we can take Grams.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

missed these kiddos

my brother recently moved to arizona and we miss their family so much. he came in town this week and brought anson and ashlie and i snagged them for the weekend. good thing was they remembered me and ran and gave me the biggest hug and immediately said, "where's nathan?" they wanted to see him so bad.

cute story--when we would babysit, nathan and ashlie had this little joke where nathan would tell ashlie "your funny" then ashlie would say, "no your funny" and they would go back and forth. i totally forgot about it. right when ashlie saw nathan she said, "your funny nathan" and has said it so many times. i was so shocked she remembered.

RIP rhonda the honda

on monday i got in a car wreck. it could not have been more of a bad timing. but it could of been worse and i was lucky that the guy swerved and missed my door. our car ended up being totaled and we had to buy a new one. i really wanted to shed a tear when i said goodbye to my honda. is that weird? so many good memories in this car.

Monday, November 7, 2011

welcome home seth!

last friday one of our best friends from high school came home from the navy. seth is only here for 11 days so we are trying to soak up time with him as much as we can. as you can see they were way happy to see each other. he will be leaving and being stationed in san diego so hopefully that will give us an excuse to go visit.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

danger run

last night we went on a halloween haunted house scavenger hunt with our good friends hannah and alex. they give you riddles that you have to solve to find your way to two different haunted houses. we tried to use the riddles but halfway through we used the cheat sheets and went straight to the haunted houses. 

we had so much fun and the haunted houses were actually really scary and really good!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

3 weeks

today marks 3 weeks since we lost our molly. we decided to go visit her grave and nathan wanted to leave 3 flowers to represent the 3 week mark. while we were there it seemed like it was yesterday we were at the cemetery for her funeral. but at the same time it feels forever ago. such a surreal feeling.

we were so blessed to have everything paid for. a man we go to church with (and he knows my family from way back. he knew my mom and grandma when they got baptized) owns a funeral home. we didn't have to pay for one thing. he took care of everything; they picked her up from the hospital, dressed her, paid for the casket, set up a whole viewing room for her, and set up the whole funeral. it was such a blessing because being college students there is no way we could afford it.

we have been coping pretty well i would say. i look at pictures of her A LOT. i can't get over how cute she was. we definitely have our moments of sadness but i think those will come for the rest of our lives. i also feel so much joy thinking about her. i'm still so proud to call her my daughter and to talk about her.

we still don't have a stone for her. we are saving up for one. this is my grandpa's stone who she is buried with.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

hubers farm

yesterday was so pretty outside i really wanted to do something fun outdoors. we went to a place called hubers farm. there are so many fun things to do there. we went and picked a pumpkin, they have tons of farm-grown fruits and veggies, homemade bread and jam (we stocked up), carmel apples, homemade ice cream and so many other fun things. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

cold & rainy

rummikub, oranges, and hot chocolate. perfect wednesday for a cold and rainy night.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

saturday night date

with everything going on we have been laying low and not doing much. tonight we wanted to go out and do something fun for a date. there is a street next to our house where all the houses decorate for halloween.   tons of people come to look at them. the weather was perfect outside; i love kentucky in the fall.

after we walked around the neighborhood we walked to Heine Brothers Coffee and got some hot chocolate. nathan of course got a smoothie. 

it was so nice to get out and do something fun to get our minds off things.