Thursday, December 8, 2011

what now...

From losing molly, finding out she may have been a boy not a girl, to getting in a car wreck you would think nothing else could go wrong, right? But, no that is not the case. The trials just keep on coming. A lot has been going on this week and I am ready to fill everyone in. I didn't want to tell anyone because I don't want to get people worried over something that may not happen. But, what the heck.

So I had to go back into the doctor on Monday because I haven't stopped bleeding and I almost had to go to the ER on Sunday because I was bleeding out so much. I went in and he said what happens very rarely in cases like mine is sometimes some placental tissue holds on for dear life and doesn't come out like normal and continues to grow. He said the WORST case senario would be for me to get a D&C.  A very common, simple procedure. Well, this ended up not being the case of worst senario. He wanted me to come in the next morning to get an ultrasound to confirm and make sure that it was a placental tissue problem.

I went in for the ultrasound and got my blood work back as well. I did have placental tissue and my HCG (hormone that determines pregnancy) levels came back positive. Don't worry I am not pregnant, thats the problem. This is known as molar pregnancy which happens rarely. It can happen with the type of chromosomal problem our baby had. So now it gets more complicated. I had to get a D&C to get the tissue out but there is a risk it could come back. If it does come back I will have to go through a type of chemotherapy to make it stop growing and get rid of it. Now, its not the type where I would lose my hair and stuff but it is still a type of chemotherapy.

I went in to get the D&C today and a hysteroscopy. It was the first time I had been put under in my life. I am not going to lie I was freaking out. When I woke up I was so confused. I don't remember ANYTHING before and after the surgery. I think I actually said this when I woke up, "Do you know who the Kardashian's are? I think I had a dream about them." I am kind of embarrassed lol. They were able to get everything out and I have to go back once a week to make sure my HCG levels stay at 0. They determine if it is growing back by my HCG levels. So it is vital I don't get pregnant because if I do there will be no way to track if it is growing back or not.

It has been a hard couple of months. After the Molly thing happened I was like I can handle this. I was so proud of how well I was doing. Well, then the gender change happened, got in a car wreck and totalled my car, other things going on, Nathan being behind in school because he has to be with me for the doctors, and then I find out this. It just keeps on coming. We are just so grateful we got that blood test when I was pregnant and we got our sweet baby out of me because it could have been worse. Cancer was a risk if I kept the baby in so when I got induced we thought everything was fine. I am so grateful for my husband who prayed about it and did the best thing for my life and health.

Nathan has been so amazing. I have been able to go through everything before this with a pretty positive attitude. When I found out this I became overwhelmed and I have been kind of a brat lol. But, he has been there for me by my side through the whole thing. When I am being grumpy he will say in a stern voice, "Get over here and cuddle with me. Lay your head on my lap and I will play with your hair." So sweet.

I am pretty sure everything is going to be fine. I feel like everything that is a low percentage of happening has been happening. So I hope I get cut a break and the D&C will be the last thing for this issue. Until then...please pray!


  1. I will definitely be praying for you all. You are a very strong couple and its like they say "If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it".....Love u

  2. Okay so I just wrote a comment and I lost it.. And it was really good. :) So I will attempt to remember it and do it over. Here goes.
    I prayed for you today. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I remember getting bad news after bad news about my body and having babies. I get emotional just thinking about it and knowing you are "suffering" with your own kind of bad news. So I have something to say. These are the times that either make or break you. So Choose to be Made. Choose to be the woman God plans for you to be. Choose to be the wife Nathan needs and already has. Choose to be the mother that "Molly" and your other children need one day. Choose to not let Satan tear away at your soul with feelings of disappointment or frustration. You are an amazing woman, Jayme! You are an example to me. I think about my experience and know that Heavenly Father had a plan for Zane and me. Zane and I would not be the people we are today, we would not have the marriage we have today, without our trial. Heavenly Father knew Zane and I needed that trial. As much as I tried to fight it, I finally learned that the only way to win was to let the Lord do his thing. To allow him continue to try me, and I didn't just endure it I began to accept it, and I started looking at what I needed to learn. That is how you win it. I would do it all over again to receive these blessings. You will be blessed from this trial. I know you have already seen some of the blessings and for that you are way ahead of me from where I was. The Lord has so many more to give you and Nathan. I know you know this. I love you!

  3. I am so lucky to have such a strong best friend. I've learned so much from you in these past couple months.